My friend!

When I think about divorce, I think of friends!

What has it got to do with it?

Friends wield unimaginable influence in our lives! We spend time discussing with our friends, rubbing minds, sharing ideas, seeking for second opinions, counselling, encouraging, discouraging, persuading, dissuading, etc.

Once I looked around me and I found that not a single friend (or close relative) of mine drove a car while his wife jumped buses! If there was only one car, the wife had it! I think I know the big brother from whom the influence came.

Once a guy beat up his girl friend. It was so serious that she was admitted in the hospital. Not to worry, they broke up after! I bounced the incident off a few necessary guys. One said there are often disagreements and anything could result! Another said that some women will never get the message till you beat them!

Hmm???

I didn't have to ask my core friends! It would amount to negative utilization of precious time! They can never conceive the idea of a slap, not to mention a strike! But what could the lesson be?

I imagine again that i have those two guys as my only friends, and we all married. Even if I never thought it plausible to assault a woman (or man), it would be only a matter of time before one would begin to evaluate the veracity of their opinion.

Have you noticed that your investment decisions are influenced by the people closest to you? Or your decision for further studies? Or the number of children to have? The country to remain in, or relocate to? The candidate to vote for in an election?

How to respond to a misdemeanour of a spouse? How to discipline children? How to spend your 24 hours a day!

I remember my friend who posted my application for my 1st major job during National Service in Owerri, on my behalf. I remember it was my sister who applied for my present job, on my behalf! I remember those we studied together through university. I remember those we dated our first queens at the same time! I remember the three friends who applied for my last professional course, on my behalf! There are those who seem to have sleepless nights over my personal concerns, even when I sleep throught the night.

Can you remember / imagine the influence of friends on your life?
Certainly there are exceptions!

But maybe a change of friends could propel some of us forward!

Howard Hendricks (1924-2013)

You probably have never heard that name before! He was conservative, and probably his title made him unpopular to the Charismatics; but the Professor-Emeritus of Dallas Theological Seminary lived his life genuinely for God. For about four years I have been trawling the internet for his messages. I even ordered for his books online! James Dobson, Chuck Swindoll, Rick Warren, and cohorts called him "mentor." You really should have known him. Thankfully, his messages and books are available. I stumbled on his obituary while looking to update my archives of messages from him!

Have you read Finishing strong? Steve Farrar referred to some research done on some 246 Christian leaders over two years, and the appalling percentage of those who remained in ministry: 10%. That research was done by Prof Hendricks. He really needed to live so long to do so much!

Have you heard before that the Ninevites worshipped the sea? And that the action of enzymes on Jonah in the belly of the whale certainly left Jonah's skin bleached and messed up! With a strange man vomited by the sea, and his skin colouration strangely altered, the Ninevites quickly heeded Jonah's call. Meaning? God can make the most of any hopeless situation! I learnt that from the Prof! By the way, have you heard that Jonah was not the only survivor of a whale's swallowing? James Bartley was alleged to have in the late 1800s! Google him!

I have heard many reasons why ministers do not honour invitations. I have heard about other engagements, I've heard of the need for rest, I've heard of the need for retreats. But until I came across Prof, I never heard someone say he could not honour a ministry invitation because he had to play with his son! And he couldn't shift though the callers thought he was crazy; his son was of higher priority than the ministry appointment! I was so blessed by that! Now that he is gone, his son is a minister of the Gospel!

I've never heard anyone laugh at the ministry for paying him a salary to fulfil the call of God on his life. He just found it so funny! He never preached; he always taught. He always taught; he used to draw and make sketches while speaking! He was so funny, yet his messages incisive! He observed that the seminary students who seemed hopeless often turned out better than imaginable! He preached for one of such students; the church was so full that someone took Prof's seat when he went up to preach! His students couldn't understand what the bald old man could be doing under the tree with his bible in hand. They thought he was crazy when he told them he was memorizing scriptures! He had  to explain to them: to students, he was a Prof; but to God, he was a Christian and his battles were no different from those his students went through!

He was so in love with his wife that his children's friends wished aloud that they had parents-in-love! Once on a plane an air hostess couldn't help but ask if they were newly married. "No! Between us, we've been married for about ninety years! I've been married to her for forty-five, and she's been married to me for forty-five!" Laughable, but it left the air hostess dumbfounded in an age in which five years of marriage could tend to be long! She couldn't help but announce over the public address  in the plane. They got a standing ovation!

He called Barnabas' the Ministry of Multiplication. Barnabas did encourage many, but he raised a few (esp Paul and Mark) who went on to raise and influence numerous. Prof was forever grateful to the man who led him to Christ. The man beat Prof at the game of marbles repeatedly when Prof was a little boy, early morning on a Sunday! Hendricks was hooked to him...and to his Sunday school!

Hendricks taught over 10,000 pastors in Dallas Theological Seminary. He preached in over eighty countries, often ministering at Billy Graham Crusades. He was chaplain to Dallas Cowboys Football Team. He was patron to Promise Keepers. He was and will still be an influence on numerous others!

One last point: He came from a broken home, his wife came from a broken home. And they both decided with the help of God to stop the evil cycle of broken homes in their genealogy. They did; they were married for sixty-six years!

Some more tributes: http://www.dts.edu/read/howard-hendricks-prof/ & http://wheelsms.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/prof/

How far?

How far?

That obviously is a phrase peculiar to Nigerians! However, I am writing from another perspective.

I heard about an Englishman who served as a missionary in East Africa from 1981 to 1991. He taught English at a local secondary. In 1981, he had an offer to teach in the Middle East for £2,000 a month, but he chose to teach in East Africa for £60 a month . Yes, £60 a month! No electricity, no running water, etc.

Feels eccentric!

Great sacrifice!

However today, his very first convert in Congo has planted about 300 churches!
Now £2,000 pales into insignificance in the face of fulfilment!

How far could I go to please my Master who has enlisted me on His team?
How much could one sacrifice to find fulfillment?
How far could one go to bring glory to the Name of the Almighty God!?

http://lanrefatokun.wordpress.com/author/lanrefatokun/

It Hurts To Be In Love

Love hurts. That sounds cynical; we prefer to think of love as hugs and kisses. Yes, love is a happy peaceful force, and we thrive where it abounds. We must admit we have all seen the darker side and felt the pangs of love that results in suffering. It hurts when we love and find rejection. We feel sadness when our loved ones experience illness or loss. Death parts us from the objects of our love.


It hurts to be in love. "He began to be very distressed and troubled, and he said to them, 'My heart is so heavy with grief, I feel as if I am dying. Wait here and stay awake.' Jesus went on a little farther away from them, fell to the ground, and prayed. He asked that, if possible, he would not have this time of suffering. He said, 'Abba, Father! You can do all things. Don't make me drink from this cup. But do what you want, not what I want (Mark 14:33b-36 ERV)." Jesus' love for his Father mingled with his love for us. He would make the supreme sacrifice, willingly giving his life on the cross. It hurts to be in love.

by Pam Ford Davis

Words Have Power

Your words reflect what you believe about your future. Just to see how it feels, for the next twenty- four hours refrain from saying anything bad about anyone or anything. The difference between the rigth word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug said Mark Twain

The person who finds the negative seldom finds anything else. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation. The fact is that the more you complain the less you will obtain..

Some people always find the bad in a situation. Do you know people like that? Think about it, how many successful complainers do you know? Many a great idea has been quenched by wrong words. Do not spend your lie standing at the complaint counter

A wise old owl sat on an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard
Why can we not be like the wise old bird?

Both enthusiasm and pessimism are contagious. How much of each do you spread?

Make Best Use Of Your Time

Yesterday is gone, Tomorrow is far and Today is now. The now which is Today is the most important. So many of us do not go far in the journey of life because we take little or no thought about opportunities of today and make friends with procrastination.

Procrastination is the tomb in which opportunity is buried. For the up and doing individual there is always time and opportunity. Do not take the sitting position and take whatever comes your way and whenever it comes instead go after it .Every door of opportunity will not open until you give it a push. "I couldn't wait for success said Jonathan Winters so i went ahead without it knowing for sure it will come after me".

Golden opportunities abound in life itself every individual has a lot that can be done for the sky is big and wide enough for every bird to fly.

Start with that thing that you can do; do not stop because of what cannot be done by you. Big and great opportunities will show up as you make the most out of the little ones.
The best gifts we get are opportunities, grab hem as they come and do not let them slip by you.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT; LIVE YOUR LIFE DAILY;UTILIZE EVERY EFFECTUAL DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY THAT COMES YOUR WAY.

Shalom

Are You A Good Listener

I remember a particular day my 5 year old came back from school and both of us were engrossed in a discussion about her activities for that day.She was so excited that she was willing to give every detail but alas i was always interrupting her and out of anger she said mummy "listen to me first before asking any questions so as to understand what i say"

A recent study in my daily devotionals made me to understand better the message she was trying to pass across.

Someone said and i quote "God gave us two ears and one mouth because we need to listen twice as much as we talk".
Learning that means quick to listen, slow to speak. Good listening according to the devotional builds good relationship but alas good listeners are not born, they are bred.

The following are a few suggestions to improve one's listening:

a. Listening without interrupting: Fight against the temptation to jump in and finish the sentence, tune yourself to just listen.

b. Listen to understand:Try to understand their point of view, feelings, thinking and needs. Good listening is hearing what they actually think, mean or feel not what you imagine they do. Instead of guessing ask.

c. Listen without judging: Do not rush into conclusions. If you do not understand what is said keep listening, for 'He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him' (Pro.18:13)

d. Make the speaker acceptable: Accept their perceptions and feelings as valid and acceptable expressions of a valued person. Ask the speaker to help you to understand them better taking into consideration what you have been told by them.

EVERYONE SHOULD BE QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK. JAMES 1:19

Shalom